And every day

I pray to god

that you and me

were meant to be.

i'm only truely happy if i know he loves me so

Tonight my music is loud, it is to drown all my thoughts away...it's working
I shouldn't feel scared. I shouldn't, i shouldn't. because we will pull through. we have to. we always do.
If we don't what the fuck will i have left what the fuck will i have left

empty like how my stomach feels right now because i haven't been eating properly for days
anxiety attack i think. i should go to the doctors they can give me pills. good pills..to calm me.
I should start yoga again thats good you know keeping myself busy
i shouldnt have time to think if not something is wrong means i'm way to free
maybe i need to smoke teach me how to r o l l

dear god help please you may choose to ignore but this time i need all the help i can get because i feel like everything might leave me, and it would be nice if you were on my side(just this once)

i will break my own heart

Me being the most total fucktard, destroying everything i touch along the way....why can't i be perfect. Like the models in the magazines. They look fine, healthy. My body's been a total wreck i eat half a meal a day and i take in only liquids lately. Today i finally had time with nes c: tomorrow morning im going to be with him too c: I heard saosin's new album is good so im gonna check it out nowwww xx lately i've been talking to god, i told him he has no reason to answer any of my prayers. But i still prayed for me to work hard, and for time to fly..

What's love without a little hurt?

the best part of my week is when i go over, and crawl into your bed..you smell my hair, kiss me, and we sleep
(BUT THIS TIME BEFORE WE SLEEP, I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU)

MANAGE ME. I'M A MESS. My whole week have been doing by crazily i've been so damn burnt out. My time table has been exams until 330(latest) i rush home for tuition until 6, and then i'm expected to study until i'm dead. But all i really want is to spend my time with one person...nes tells me hang in there, i'll be with him all the time when i'm done with my exam. That is one of my biggest challenge of all. Away from him for the longest time i feel the tug but its ok i will work hard and enjoy the fruits of my labour afterwards. hahaha about 2 more months until the torment is over BE STRONG& i've been having eating problems i can;t eat as much as i could...although im fucking hungry. body why must you break down nowwww itsnlkjgnsleiuthnlekjtnbsliruthns
maybe i should purposely act sick so nes will have no choice but to come and visit me at home!!!! hahaha i love you babe
im so happy on this cloud 9..oh please last forever, i've been a real spoiler lately and i cannot afford to destroy everything i touch

1150pm but i gotta head for my physics now..STAY GOLD
TO RUTH:
hey baby, i know this is probably one of the hardest times for you over there. but you know you will ALWAYS have Jackie, Nelle and me to talk to. always. dont give up yet, you are the most beautiful i know. be strong too ok? with love, from the little red dot
call me if anything I WILL BE YOUR ROCK

"My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I'd die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer."



nostalgic.

that's what you get when you let your heart win

this whole week I've been anticipating friday..I may be on my holiday right now but i swear TGIF. Tomorrow me and nes will be on the longest ride in the bus to his place but i always love it because he makes me listen to his favourite songs in his ipod (even though i resist again and again he sometimes shoves it in my ear still) Also, i will finally be able to finally relax in the company of all my good friends..I have finally accepted the nearness of my exams and the fact that i have almost 2 months to work my butt off. Not forgetting my tiny tiny cousin, Happy Birthday c:

I carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
I am never without it.
(Anywhere I go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling.)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet).
I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true).
And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you.

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows -
(Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
- and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart:

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

Party all night and sleep all day, and throw of all my problems away..then life would be easy..easy..

But not in reality. In reality I got 3/4 left of my Biology to complete, and whole lit book to re-read. In reality, maths is going to be a bitch to even JUST pass. In reality i'm not sure if I can get an A1 for accounts anymore. Common Ruth and Nes kick my butt i need it. MAKE ME WORK! i need too so so so so badlyyyyyyyyy. Today i heard one of my uncle's going to Maldives for a holiday in December. I am sosossososososososososososososososososososo fucking jealous. I've always wanted to go there. ALWAYS the private glass huts in the middle of the ocean. I want it. $4000 for 6 days, i say totally worth it...omg and the drama happening here is crazy beyond belief..everyone needs to be cured

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh … And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

e. e. cummings

someone like you

Goodmorninggggggg it's 8am and i'm pretty late for school already. Just wanna dive right into my bed but i'm fucking resisting.
Went for Nine Inch Nails last night..fkin awesome. But today i return to school to collect my exam papers. Ok ive got a long day ahead god please help me not pass out

i want to move into nes's house since im already there 3/4 of the time when im not in school :(((((((

love, lust, lies& us
you choose,
you chose

and its impossible to tell
how important something was
and what you might've missed out on
and how it might've changed it all
and did I, did I....

Always and forever more,

And together getting lonely

I thought i couldn't do this without you

I can't do this without you

I stand outside under broken leaves

I know I can't do without

the future's drowned away

You are a believer, I am not

Ruth came down over the weekend and surprised me and Janelle. We almost died but im so happy still cant believe she's here!
My first prelims are about to begin in less than a week, and i am fucked for I have not started studying....ok maybe physics. But 2 pages don't count. Looking forward to 3 months when i'll be free for (hopefully) 9 months. Ok! gotta run 2 and half hours of maths nowww someone please save me!!!

It's just a shame
My hand just kills and kills
There's gotta be an end to that
There's gotta be an end to that

Saying goodbye always means the end. Final. but what if you never want it to end? What if you enjoy every moment of it? What if there's nothing like it? How can you say goodbye?

I need something to slow down time, give me something, anything..

So our king of pop is dead, we just lost one of the best performers in the world..even though he was acused of being a pedo and all that jazz, this man broke bariers. Racial bariers. During his time he was one of the best musicians, and that is what we will always remember most about him. So he could've been a pedo, we'll never know..but one thing's for sure. His music was honest.
RIP M.J

my boyfriend got a job, which is awwwwesome

but that means it leave me lonely from 6pm-4am every other day. Also i have 5 more days until my holiday ends...unless the quarantine thing starts in my school. haha

I have the worst throat everrr my family insists it is the lack of sleep...but i secretly know it's been the smoking.

while my best friend has been away in korea and left me here to fend for myself, a lot of shit has been happening in her life so i am here ready and waiting for her to come back and be her shoulder to lean on! ok im off to take a bath at 125 in the morningggg

adioz

sh-sh-shouldn't need anyone, but i need you.

today i had a good time with my boyfriend

We walked all the way to Henderson wave...tiring, but believe me its so beautiful!

My holidays now and im trying to have the mostest fun! haha

Well i still can't stop shopping online,

i just bought the most classic cream and white dress ever

haha shittttttt $$$ is a bitch

SOSOSO ANBERLIN is fkin comming down again for baybeats!!!!!!!!!

sorry ruth i won't speak of baybeats.

but no i am excited! i love anberlin!

the 'feel good' drag, paperthin hyme, adelaid!

me and jackie are so gonna memorise the lyrics so we can sing along

(as usual.......)

ok what am i doing up at 3am? my mum wants to wake me up at 9am

for the family outing and lunch and bla bla

you know the drill.....so i cant wait for my best friend to get back

from fucking korea...north korea is starting to push my buttons

btw on this whole nuclear testing shit.

ok so i will see you soon! V

lovelove

I know christmas happens to be 6 months away...but i'm just looking at Mikey's christmas album from last year. Every year I admire mikey's family during christmas. They're all about giving...they buy real christmas trees that reach the ceiling and everytime i walk into their house it's that pine smell, christmas carols playing on the radio they've got like tons and tons (and trust me i am not kidding) of presents around their tree and their house is always filled with people. ++++The food is like A M A Z I N G. Call me the grinch or whatever but every year my christmas is ruined by like little things but i look forward to it EVERY damn year but i am always let down. haha I got everyone i love around me but it ALWAYS falls short of something. Every damn year i try to make it right but still it doesn't turn out the way i want it to. haha

yes..i am the grinch

LOVE, SAVE THE EMPTY.

last night,Andrea's birthday at st jamez

right now i've got twisty funny feelings in me...why is Saggitarius known for "one night stands" and "living in the moment" and "freedom fighters". Im going to watch skins to distract me. No. maybe sleep. But my stomach is twisting....this life changing experience..its 2.24 in the morning. I hope i feel sleepy soon..

"this is so strange"
"because i feel that i am very altered"
"but at the same exact time,"
"i am closer to the real me, the real me who decides who i am, the entire me"

"....before i lose you love."

"This was never the way I planned..not my intention. I got so brave, drink in hand...lost my discretion"






Friday was Time Out with the girls..fun, and Ruth was with us(in spirit) haha
"OK GUYS, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND LETS THINK ABOUT RUTH FOR A MOMENT..SHE IS WITH US IN SPIRIT"
We had a few vomitting cases..*ahem* We will probably all be doing this again some time soon.

I can't wait to spend my holidays with my boyfriend.GOD please make 2 weeks fly

my favourite part from I Kissed A Girl:
Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

90 years, you have lived your life to the fullest. And finally you get to be with the people you love up there..
your house is filled with pictures of the family and i never realised how much you loved us until now
as you got older, you started calling me "lucrisha" but i will remember that name always because only you call me
thanks for the memories the stories you always told me when i went over (that i always enjoyed)
you always worried about all of us but now it is your time to rest.
thank you for all that you've done

and when they sell your house a small part of me will die because that is your house..the house that we all grew up in
i will miss everything that came along with you.

so here's to you, beautiful and strong. I will always look up to.
and even though i never said it out loud..I love you

I AM FALLING INLOVE ALL OVER AGAIN

"only if the rest of my body could be like my butt cheeks..perky and solid"

"did you just smack your ass?"

"yes"

hahahahaha i love you

NES.

Things i've been up to lately....

1. Addicted to Misery Signal's Anchor
2. Tomorrow I intend on cutting my hair (I've never been one to dwell on bad haircuts, cause well, it grows back. all the time.)
3. HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN RUTH'S BIRTHDAY that's comming this Saturday (haven't forgotten you tit! mention you most of the time when i'm talking to Nes)
4. My family went to Bali over this long weekend..and 'forgot' to call me :((
5. I'm slowly losing my motivation to study because well all this talk about the year ending in 2012 is making me think "why waste my time?"
6. I managed to keep 50 bucks till the weekend, and i just blew it on food and cigarettes....
7. Lately been extreamly addicted to peanut butter (On bread, without butter. Love the sticky dry rich feeling/taste in my mouth)
8. recently discovered my hate for public transport because of all the morons that keep stepping on my foot 'accidentally'
9. also discovered my addiction to shopping online...and off. haha
10. Have been trying to motivate my boyfriend to do his work.. (but i am a hypocrite because i am not motivated myself)

& If I don't make it online on saturday, HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY RUTH! WISH YOU WERE HERE, AND WE ALL LOVE YOU VERY MUCH :]

from the pplz of singapore V

"When you see something from afar, you develop a fantasy. But when you see it up close, 9 times out of 10,  you wish you hadn't."

I am amazed by this movie..some might put it down but it is just beautiful. Wicker Park.

Monday Coldplay was amazing! will definately go again if they come back..though this is their 3rd time already.haha
I absolutely loved it when they played Fix You, and everyone was singing and tht stars and the lights..i would GIVE to rewind and go back to monday.perfect....So the second semester of school just begun and its gonna be pretty hectic B cuz its one semester away from prelim(which is super early this year..like July?) So i need to work my ass off, quit being so damn lazy and stop spending Tuesday nights watching back to back episodes of 90210..and Lipstick jungle. haha

If anything. ANYTHING, i would just ask for more time..with me and nes so busy, i dont know :(((

"tears stream down your face, i promise you i will learn from your mistakes. tears stream down your face and I will try to fix you"

HI RUTH, SORRY I TOOK SO LONG

 and I read through the email, very very helpful!

Coldplay tomorrowwwww omg omg omg yay cannot wait! But school's starting tomorrow too..I am beyond ready. Don't even get me started on my damn undone holiday homework. haha Hopefully I didnt fail my English Common Test! Tomorrow we will see..ok time for sleep 

Chris Martin, here i come!!! V

if my life is for rent, and i dont learn to buy it
well i deserve nothing more than i get
cause nothing i have is truely mine

The week's holiday has started for me, and I only want to spend it with this one person.

So this tuesday is 2 years: if love is a drug I want to OD

You know i've been thinking, when I do die, i want to be cremated and my urn will be nicely decorated by Nes and placed inside my home..haha I figured I would wanna be around the ones I love all the time. haha i get bored sometimes ok I've been motivated to study!!! My boyfriend gave me a verbal lashing yesterday on how I waste my time caring about unimportant things and people. and I AGREE. So from today onwards till the rest of my life, it won't be ALL about me, and i will look up to mother theresa because she was all about giving and i need to be "all about giving" because being a bitch takes too much time and skill!!!!! i am having zombie cravings. shit. time to watch zombie vids on youtube. V

FOR RUTH:  Hi tit, i've been trying to upload pictures of Elijah for you but blogger's being a real bitch right now so i'll try tomorrow. CALL ME xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo

"I don't expect anything"

hi! the baby is out, he is tiny. He is Elijah...and he also shocks me. He has like golden hair, dark green eyes and he is so fair. Totally not what I expected..haha My stepdad is now watching Golden Girls hahaha i am going to die of laughter.

ok i  have a rough day tomorrow! I will post more pictures of the baby for you soon, ruth

missing you

Ok, i have am having a massive panic attack! my mum is going to deliver to a baby boy tomorrow and i am getting twisty funny feelings in my stomach. like knots..like the kind before you get your national results kind of feeling..the feeling...is taking over...
the feeling of being alone for the past 16 years of my life. the i-can't-have-a-sibling feeling not now, not ever.
my mum's voice is jumpy! she is nervous too. but no, its only(ever) always been me and her. i could burst into a serious outrage of tears now i am not ready. give me another 9 months please? all i need is another 9 months

sqeeezing all my thoughts into the back of my brain(my hand is literally shaking)..actually i can see me and my stepdad actually being very panicky when the moment arrives. I can totally picture my mum screaming in the background telling us to "GET TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL!" and me and gavin running to the car and doing our checks before we drive to the hospital

Me: "ok, mum's bag?"
Gavin: "check."
"mum's toiletries?"
"check"
"baby's new born clothes?"
"check"
"mum's massage thingy that she uses?"
"check"
"mum's.....ok i think we're all set...OMG WHERE IS MUM?"

so we run up to the house and see she's on the couch screaming "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU HOW COULD YA'LL FORGET ME!!!!"

omg. nightmare. worst than dreaming of zombies.

I'm thinking..and i know now i'd never chose anything to be any different. I am content and will never lose
have a good last-day-of-Feb day, and always remember the moon (always)

We're in too deep, and I won't fall out 

I am in love and i always will be,

with you

I miss my friends, 

this whole ride is impossible to make through without you guys

call me.

'We all carry these things,
Inside that no one else can see.
They hold us down like anchors.
They drown us out at sea.
I look up to the sky.
There may be nothing there to see.
But if I don't believe in him,
Why would he believe in me?' -Chelsea smile.

Truely one of the most addictive songs, ever

Coldplay is not to be missed! I will fight tooth and nail for this one. Even if I have to go alone, I will be contented :)
(I missed them twice, I won't miss them again) ...although I know I will be eating grass by the end of March..




"I used to roll the dice, feel the fear in my enemies eyes"
c.a.n.n.o.t c.o.n.t.a.i.n e.x.c.i.t.e.n.e.s.s !.!.!

Saturday parkway drive was just mind blowing

Bodies swaying, sweat dripping, fist pumping, and people screaming..yeah you can imagine how it went. haha I missed it all somehow, 2006

After which we headed back to Big Ear to hangout. I had a lot of fun..me and trish cracking ourselves up with 'silent laughter' and me nes & keith singing along to some Underoath, shaun telling me to comb my hair with a fork. haha And with ALL that, i came back to Physics homework, Social studies test, and Biology test results...tah im sleepy. goodnight!

"The greatest thing to ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return"- Moulin Rouge

A number of tragic events happened to be over the week!

My school gave me a warning letter for Jay Walking...&

 I didnt quite understand because i did it so that i wouldnt be late for school. 

Then later in that day my hand grazed, YES GRAZED my Principles butt.

And i almost passed when she said..

Principle: DID YOU JUST.....? :O

Me: Oh my goodness, i am so sorry! I was in a rush!

Principle: its alright i'll just take it as a compliment!

Thank goodness she's a good sport..I could've been sent to detention.

So, ALSO i got back my math test and got 0/19

i couldnt even get 1 mark. What a horrible way to start on the first test of the year!

I've been eating quite funny..5 pm for lunch, 10pm for dinner..haha

Parkway Drive this saturday, like a few weeks after me and nes will be going to watch JASON MRAZZZZ  :D i love you.

 

ok! good week ahead! V

Hi! Today i watched 13 going on 30 "thirty, flirty&thriving..."

I'm glad i didn't got to Daryl's party last night,

I ended up staying in with Nes and we had a movie marathon!

2009 had been extra-eemly busy for me! I HATE SECONDARY LIFESTYLE

plus, everyone in my school's narrow minded..

"tattoo's are bad..short skirts are bad.."

they just want us to be Nun's so badly..

but not my forte, really..

me? In a nun outfit..and all that jazz?

Not today, not tomorrow. Never in my lifetime

The feeling is back again! I just wanna smack her real hard on the head!

FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN

So time is flying, and Jackie's 17th birthday is on Friday!

Still can't get over how fast time is flying..

I just turned 16 one month ago and now Jackie's turning 17.

-______________________________________-

One of the downsides of your birthday being in December...

So far in class, i have not been lagging behind.yet.

I am(STILL) an A1 Accounts student in class,

only because my teacher gave us a spot test today and I aced it!

I feel nerdy..I only think about studying when i get home sometimes

shit.

Nes: You know _____ had 6 points for L1R5!

Tash: WHAT? is she on steroids or something?!

like the last year, this is (also) full of changes

feeling very in the dark right now.....SECRETS DON'T MAKE FRIENDS. best friends.

So this is the new year

And I have no resolutions

For self assigned penance

For problems with easy solutions

Many things to look forward too this year, hopefully this year would turn out like 2006. Cause 2006 was the bestttttt haha. ok, but with Nes, my family, and all my favourite people i'll definately be able to make it through this year.  V

 

today was..eventful. Me and nes managed to do a little last minute shopping. Still i'm short of a few things, presents. To think that this year is comming to an end is just so soon..this has been one hell of a fun unexpecting cRaZy year. good timez...still, 2006 owns! merry christmas!

there's a corner of your heart (just for me)

"maybe you're not even human cause..only an angel could be so unusual"


On the 15th, I celebrated my birthday with all the people that i love..and it was a pretty good turnout. A few didn't turn up, but it's alright..there's still next year. Everyone left the chalet at like 630 in the morning..Faiz puking and all haha. Good times, good times.. And i got my N level results, i topped the class with 4 points. So, sec 5 for me! Been hanging a lot with Ruth since she's down. You have to watch our suprise video. I laughed like mad.. aaaaah MEMORIES!

FAIZ : what do you call a deer with no eyes?

TASH: a blind deer?

FAIZ: NO-I-DEER!

-__________________-

"I want to know this time if
you’re really finally mine
I need to know that you're not lying so I want to see you tried
And I don't want to hear you say it shouldn’t really be this way
'Cause I like this way just fine"

patterns will fall as quick as i do..i'm learning a new way of thinking now

"Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop" -Meredith Grey

It's not a bird, not a plane
It's my heart and it's going, gone away
My only weakness is you
Only reason is you
Every minute with you
I can feel like I can do anything
Going going, I'm gone away in love

Hi! like like like 19 days to christmas and I am unprepared, nothing ready at all. But i'm content like this, the rush makes me more excited. Feels so weird that this whole year is ending..I swear it feels like last week or something it was christmas eve. I remember it so clearly. But such is life, and time flies! i digress

Ruth will be down in like 9 days! I am more excited than you can ever imagine. I will feel whole-er than i already do. The only other person in the whole world who'll understand anything and just listen. I know she's reading so i love you. can't wait to see you! and I AM COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS :] I've been working, but other than that enjoying my days left of the holidays with nes and i love him. gah till death

ok, i'm sleepy

This is a Saturday, what was on my to do list was : shoe sale, movie and flee market...
Apparently not so..because my cousin and jackiee bowed out at the last minute and i'm now deciding.
Since i'm the only masketeer standing..why not go alone? In fact I love to do things alone. This is no math quiz. Simple, i will go alone. Until my boyfriend is done with his chores, it will be me,myself & I :]

"So I look in your direction..but you pay me no attention, do you?"

On the 22nd I held a small party at my house for Nes's 18th, and when i woke up at 3pm the next day..empty glasses were on the floor with a bailey's bottle near them. "mmmm, so this is what i did last night..." and knocked out again till 430pm.

somethin somethin for you to look at!

SCUM BAG BITCH SLUT MOTHERFUCKING WHORE TIT FACE FUCK OFF! FUCKING SLUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

i dont know what to say, and i don't know what to think..
what i do know is i need a strong drink, and lots& lots of nicotine.
anything to get this out of my head. anything



"we open up, unfinished parts, broken up, its only love."

So Nique is my cousin..and she is well, so much more trust worthy with family information compared to myself..

Jackie: Wanna eat on Saturday, like a proper dinner?
Tash: ok, set
Jackie: set ah, DONT YOU DARE change plans! I book you on saturday evening.
Tash: yup..ok
Jackie: oh wait! you also another one right, cannot right?
Tash: huh? what do you mean?
Jackie: Nique said it's your grandmother's birthday!
Tash: really ah? how come i didnt know!
Jackie: -_____________________________________________-

I finally spoke to Tatum after god knows how long,and our conversations still go the same way.

"you really don't like her.."
"no she's ok la, just that in primary school she used to tell me she was a magician. And i believed her"


PART 2 of the conversation went like

"gets me so annoyed and jealous"
"OMGGGGG DITTO"

"how did he even get her?good catch. I mean DAMN good catch"

Hahaha, will see that tiny lady after her A's.

To one of the nicest old lady i've met, and her family


and for now, to nes...
If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.

Cause I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.

Cause I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.

Cause I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.

Just 16 and sucker's dream I guess I thought you had the flavour
Just 16 and dream obscene with six months off for bad behavior

I'm done with my N levels, and classified under 'problem child' for the next 6 months.. and I don't think i can handle it.
I'm going to have a baby brother in like.. 4 or 5 months which I find so totally weird becase i'm so used to being the only one..and well if i might say, very spoilt. I'm going to be an older sister! Though I may not be the best example..
But this kid probably won't need a good example because by the time he's old enough to disobey his parents i will be, (sadly) in my 30s. hahahaha

Among my 2 best friends (Ruth&Jac)

I am the cryer,
I am also the white legs,
Not to mention the one who 'fell into the drain'
The one who tells long stories..

I am ruth's other half...............................tit
and I am jackie's Asparagus, and Deer meet.

And there's so many things that i want to be emberrased of, but I can't because they know me inside out and every little detail of how i felt at that moment when my..misfortunes happened. hahaha

I can't wait for ruth to get back so we 3 can chill and talk about the olddd times

My N's are on now, and i feel so deprived of a normal life. Normally I am not home this much,normally I do not study this much. NORMALLY, Saturday's are my "off" days..

sacrifices sacrifices....

By next tuesday however, I will be as free as a bird! and i can finally start singing!

 

"DONT WORRY ABOUT A THING,CAUSE EVERYTHING LITTLE THING IS GONNA BE ALRIGHT!" :]

I've never been more content, My face is a big red beating heart! Never knew I could love this much
Hold on to this

"only an infinite sadness that wrenches my heart and little by little and devours it" -Melissa P.

Love, love is a verb 
Love is a doing word 
Fearless on my breath 
Gentle impulsion 
Shakes me, makes me lighter 

Sunday I ate so  much and puked so much, 

had a high fever..&on Wednesday's  my Social Studies exam.

But I couldn't be more ready, i've memorized 

the whole book, i'm like a walking propaganda now. (haha!)

Can you believe this, out of the whole year

my body decides to breakdown 2 days before my exam!

I am also jinxed.

Lately Coldplay's been keeping me grounded,

 as well as yoga breathing techniques.

I felt my life with both my hands

I could feel it go down, bittersweet i could taste in my mouth

silver lining in the cloud, and i wish i could work it out 

close enough for you to taste, but you just can't touch

I got my first B for Maths in a long time, and it feels way too good. I am striving high, aiming for A2 next. Recently i've studying quite a bit. I feel so at ease..like how i feel after yoga. (yes, apparently i am into all this spiritual heeling)

Just like Lana's need to photoshop her pictures, my need is to study..And dragging my boyfriend to my house to watch movies from my stepdad's collection of 53634572 dvds. Then finishing one whole box of popcorn and rolling around feeling fat.Now that's my idea of a friday night

So me and Nes are walking around and i'm looking for a hat to buy and we see this light brown one and i'm like.....

Tash: what'd you think?

Nes: I dont know man...Sarah's got something like thing this and it's pink but fucking ugly

SILENCE

 

Tash: uh..babe, that was my hat 

Nes: oh shit. sorry.

I had a pretty great weekend, Tricia's birthday, free Singfest (with a bunch of my friends that crashed it) with uncountable free vouchers from Stefan working at the drinks. For me, One Republic owned it. They are amazing live! Also, Ryan Ross from Panic! was too damn hot in his 70's wear, and all of them performing on those 'magic carpets' But coming back from Singfest..was my Social Studies exam. Which i wasted my time studying because the question i did in the end was the chapter that i didnt study..looking forward to 2 months time! Lucky for me, i get to sleep in tomorrow because i don't have school!

I have got to start sleeping earlier everyday. Girls who use the computer, drink alcohol or..(something else but i forgot) put on weight faster! 

My prelims are in a few days, and i havent started at all. I feel guilty..usually im so motivated to do well. I feel like im going to be burning midnight oil. I've never used that term before..sounds funny that i just did. 

Ok. i will concentrate on my studies. peace V

you see I always wanted to kiss you but 
I always wanted to run from you 
because I always wanted to miss you 
and I, always wanted to comfort you

I feel totally unappreciated by my friends. Like no one tells me anything anymore! It was a little like "did you hear, she's going out with..." and i'm like no? "where the hell were you?"

haha.. apparently, i'm "one to carry stories"(?) that's why they like to keep me out of the box..

days at school feel horrible..and my prelims are in 2 weeks? I. am. not. ready.

I am blue

I am blue& unwell

this is our friendship.

After my teacher so expressed her hatred for me and lana...

myself: (and i mouth "Bitch")

lana: (mouth's back "big bitch")

myself: "DEMON"

lana: "fat demon"

I want to slip you into my day

"no one knows i'm gone"

whirlwind mixed feelings

I am young,& i can afford to make mistakes.

I am young,& i can afford to make mistakes

A few days before school starts, i'm planning to blow my leftover of fun time at Sarah's uncle's 11 million dollar house at Sentosaaaa this Saturday :) ..lets just hope i don't get a beer belly :S Days has just been passing with me and my boyfriend chilling at his place,baking,eating..watching tv and me.. with my sad attempts to get tanner. Haven't seen mulia in like forever im going to deep fry him in pork oil the next time i see him

My idea of who i am changes every ten minutes

A little from Zon's

i'm still the same, drained

nevermind/me

can't sleep tonight

"the moon belongs to everyone, the best things in life are free"

My exams are over! and my weekend was good..oh you know the usual weekend, your usual drinks, with the usual people with the usual gurd 

Gav: "You know your mum..and her hard liquor"

Mum: "Yes.. i like vodka. just like you Tash!"

Oh. My. God. I did not believe that conversation actually happened. Actually if they knew me well enough, they'd know that i don't really like Vodka. I like hard liquor.. but Vodka never does it for me. Haven't gone to school in 2 days because there hasn't been any studying. Must. Live. Life. Right. Way.

have a good one!

slow me down, i need you to slow me down