After my teacher so expressed her hatred for me and lana...

myself: (and i mouth "Bitch")

lana: (mouth's back "big bitch")

myself: "DEMON"

lana: "fat demon"

I want to slip you into my day

"no one knows i'm gone"

whirlwind mixed feelings

I am young,& i can afford to make mistakes.

I am young,& i can afford to make mistakes

A few days before school starts, i'm planning to blow my leftover of fun time at Sarah's uncle's 11 million dollar house at Sentosaaaa this Saturday :) ..lets just hope i don't get a beer belly :S Days has just been passing with me and my boyfriend chilling at his place,baking,eating..watching tv and me.. with my sad attempts to get tanner. Haven't seen mulia in like forever im going to deep fry him in pork oil the next time i see him

My idea of who i am changes every ten minutes

A little from Zon's

i'm still the same, drained

nevermind/me

can't sleep tonight

"the moon belongs to everyone, the best things in life are free"

My exams are over! and my weekend was good..oh you know the usual weekend, your usual drinks, with the usual people with the usual gurd 

Gav: "You know your mum..and her hard liquor"

Mum: "Yes.. i like vodka. just like you Tash!"

Oh. My. God. I did not believe that conversation actually happened. Actually if they knew me well enough, they'd know that i don't really like Vodka. I like hard liquor.. but Vodka never does it for me. Haven't gone to school in 2 days because there hasn't been any studying. Must. Live. Life. Right. Way.

have a good one!

slow me down, i need you to slow me down

I remember that feeling well, the first pitch and roll inside the stomach, where it's suddenly all hands on deck..that first physical collision of love. 

"what do the protestants believe in?"
"THEY BELIEVE IN BEEF!"-jiahui, my international friend(CHINA) she's way too funny sometimes haha

The strokes are driving me nuts, they are too bloody good. These next few weeks will be my exam weeks and..on Friday i'm going for a party. I have little control over these kind of things..party or study? drink or drug, eat or sleep..it's been too difficult for me..."it doesn't which you choose..." says this song.

My boyfriend is a man! hahaha NS soon la,
he will shoot me when he sees this hahaha love you laaa my muscles :]

Another long week, but just thankful that mid years don't really count becuz i'm going to flung the exam..only passing my english. On saturday i had this craving to watch Romeo and Juliet, and so i did making my poor boyfriend sit down to watch it with me..haha. But somewhere along the lines i got a weeee bit irritated. Why didn't Juliet just tell Romeo that she was going to drink that potion thingy, that would've saved both their lives.Thank god for mobile phones now..it would've gone a long way in the movie hahaha

I got a bunch of new shirts over the weekend, and now my saving up for a pair of new vans! Woo! ok, gotta smoke enjoy!


im suchhhha bitch sometimes you know
but if you're gonna like me, like me
if not don't like me at all ok?ok.

everything has been the same, i am still the same
jeff buckley's hallelujiah really makes me wanna lie in bed till i drift
but no, tonight i'm studying. with my cigarettes,coke and whatever it is i am ready!(no caffine, overloading myself with too much) but i heard coke has caffine...i hate diet coke you know?

Anyway sarah was admitted to the hopital on thursday, hope she's well
i need a get away, dear jesus please hear
call twigs soon, need to go on paradise trips again..intoxicateeeee

HI my stupid laptop is like screwing up and im very annoyed.
but luckily its time to head to my grandmother's place
time to listen to some paramore, heard they might be coming down mid this year
can't wait! must pass mid years first -_-

going to dye my bloody hair dark red soon
too damn annoyed with light brown
ok off i go
love

something different


"don't get me wrong..she's very nice, but.." -tash
"but her hair." -lana
"hahaha"

How can a guy hit a girl? oh my goodness, i can feel my blood boiling i just wanna kick him in the nuts for touching my small one. I don't think any guy can say he hit a girl "out of anger" omg if he saw me hit him "out of anger" he'd be in the wheel chair tomorrow. haha. Happy birthday ruth! i love you ok my sweet pea haha :]

It's good to be inlove, it really does suit you (just like everything)
i'm happy you're inlove..cause every colour goes where you do

Friday is just one day away!

you will only just remember how it feels..

SPEEDING CARS


"I've watched you slowly winding down for years
You can't keep on like this, now's a better time as any"

"am i cheating on my boyfriend?"
"nope, not yet you are.."

"it's ok by me, it was a long time ago"

"..and i will always love you the way you are"

I'm gaining weight..slowly but surely..ew, fatso
diet diet diet diet diet diet dont dont dont dont dont dont

HHHHHI. i really wanted to post something funny today...but i forgot.
So i lost my wallet yesterday and some kind male, a little over teenage soul came to my house to return it.
I felt like death when i lost it, IC, POSB, EZLINK, and the works!

Tell me you love me, i'll say 'i know' with a smile ;)
hahahaha, omgomgomgomg, i'm so putting my past behind me. I cannot remember who i was like...2 or 3 years ago. ok, got it?
have a gooood week ahead!

"Previously on the OC...."

One day I slowly floated away..
Fragile as we lie, be with me forever
Your eyes are beating rhythms
Soft& soap scented

I'd gladly give it to somebody else because i only wanna be with you.

Came online just to look through dictionary.com...but i guess this is where I left myself.
OK. done, i was looking for another word for Happy, and came across Lively. That's good. I like lively. Lively it is!

Today i was fooled (once again) by the clock in my classroom. You see, it is spoilt, and it is now always stuck at 8.07
Well, me being me...I came late for class and checked the time 8.07 mm, not bad considering i was late for school. Just 40 minutes late. Grab accounts text, listen..chew bubble gum..check time 8.07 ok not too bad....5 minutes later check time again, 8.07 FINALLY figure out that the clock is obviously not working, i turn to look at my friends watch, 8.20. Crazy.

OK, Happy Birthday to Keith. We all went to his girlfriend's place to eat and be merry! had a fun time. Seriously need to be getting back to my english homework.......Lively was it?

how do you think the party on friday was? AND how do you think my holiday went?



From tomorrow, I could do another year, and another and another and another with you. I love you.
and i've got my heart set on nothing else!

Now the clouds become electric, here I am. There you are.

Ok, now that it's drizzling lightly, I better take this opportunity to get ready and leave the house. And not forgetting my sweater.. I always forget the most important things.

like gravity, hipocrisy, and the perils of being in 3-D
but thinking so much differently...
pardon me, don't ever be the same.

While everyone was at zouk last night, I slept for twelve hours all through the night. I am whimsical, and afraid of this..but still alive. Tomorrow and friday will definately be something to look forward too..must. change. lifestyle.
Also, my phone is broken. I've decided to stick on my old phone because i just keep damaging my phones..i am the clumsiest ever.


tear-jerker

ok, will quickly tell you how the weekend went dowwwwn, friday night was really good. Saosin and Incubus were fantastic
Saturday morning, me and nes got up to his really fat dog inbetween us then bummed through the whole afternoon. And today, hung out with Nes's friends. But in the end it was only down to the 4 of us. Nes, me, stef, and sarah
And tomorrow i'll be hanging with my one and only friend from china and tuesday me and nes'll be hanging with nique and lenon in the afternoon and nes's friends at night. hahaha as you can see i'll be pretty busssy but that's good. abusing the holidaysssss have a good weekend

co un ti ng u p t he ye ar s,
st e ady ha nd s ju st ta ke t he wh e el
ti me t o ma ke th e la st ap p e al
fo r t he li fe i le ad

to ni gh t we dri nk to you th
a nd hol di ng fas t t he tru th

myself: don't forget mum, i'm staying jackie's place tomorrow
mum: no, since when?
myself: are you kidding me!
mum: yes. can't you take a joke.
(with her face all striaght..what is a joke?)

On Sunday i'm pulling the 'mum did you know i've got a tattoo?' joke. & can't contain my exciteness! Incubs and Saosin. And a break. A short break, but still a break. If there's one thing i've learned, it's got to be appreciative. My blog is too boring, it needs a new fix..just like me. Today i realised what a 2nd best i am. In everything..stop being 2nd best, and start being 1st. ok with my motto in my left hand, and an apple in my right, im ready to take on the world. ...But before i go, i actually like to be 2nd best. 1st best is too attention seeking i feel, too much media, too much love from everyone. I have to had it up to here with love. I get enough from my muscle making boyfriend. "without love i won't survive......" which is true you know? like how you read a 'how to go on a diet book' and think that it's all crap, but actually deep down inside you, you know that it really works and secretly you actually want to give it a try? It's the fear of knowing what you'll be in the future. But it's a deeper fear of knowing what you are now. Okay, so don't let me keep rambling! Off i go, enjoy your weekend!

i think the world is against me, how could i have so many cruel things happening to me is a short period of time?
first the really long bus waits, the ahlians coming so close to me on the bloody phone, the spraining of the ankle, the tests...
the complicated biology classes, the moving of the desks, the rainy days, the arguing in my house. all in 2 days..
overload. again.

b ut i wou ldnt ch ange a thing n ow that yo u 're her e

Last night was one of those toilet hugging nights, rolling in late, drunk and pretty much sick
remind me never to do that again.......over the next week

i saw a lady in the train yesterday(reeking of purfume). middle aged, in working out attire (all pink mind you). she was streching in the train, (with nike shoes that you should be sued if seen wearing) as if to let us know that she was gonna exercise..please remind me never to be like that too

on a most terrible note, i've got a long educational week ahead. but also on a lighter note, incubus and saosin will be down! also the March holidays are comming, use&abuse.

love

me and my boyfriend are having a fun fight right now..secretly, i'm enjoy this. hahaha
ok, love my boyfriend to death xoxo
(but secretly) i am a wee bit hurt :(

after a mighty long weekend,i'm ready to start the bloody weekday(z)
ok, march holidays are comming in 2 weeks. It is the next best thing to look forward too..
back to school books, long days, filled with tuition, drama and laughter i am not ready
AND also so confused about which bloody concert to go to..it's stressing me out cause i'm having $$$ issues. gah
ok better get sleep before i die soon. you all have a good week yes?

some 'you make me high' to end with

I do things on impulse. IMPULSE. Don't think, just do..remember that?(still the motto)

Parents are going away for the weekend! I will abuse it, probably. And the magazine was right, we need more alone time. Next week, Sunday will be my day, doing my thing, eating my food, and all that jazz..nothing about me has changed. I am disappointed. I was suppose to be a 'better person' I am far from a better person. I need to read 'how to improve your life' books, eat healthy, exercise regularly..da da da da  you know the usuals. On love, in sadness. 

Okay, i'm going to be a slug in bed watching tv, smoking, eating oreo's with milk. The tv made us like this. In my head is a memory of my boyfriend using 'hip-hop' clothes prancing around his room, trying to rap. He is the best i just wanna squish you you wait on saturday ok you piece of meeeeat

I feel like i am spinning, spinning, spinning..my world is falling apart. falling all around me

Okay, is it me or do girls flatter themselves waaaaaaaaaay to much. Admittingly, i would say that once in a while i am guilty of it..but wow, am i so amazed..just so amazed at how bimbotic we all can be. It's looks over books! &, we are actually more petty than you think..really

this is to no one specific at all..just a hell of a alot of annoyance. Have a good week! see you da flipp sidee lol

Happiest with you :)


11 months. I'm going to explodeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee full of love
this is cheezy, but hey! check the song out :D


"And now I know I can't be the only one,
I bet there heart's all over the world tonight,
With the love of they life who feel..
What I feel when i'm with you.."

"The truth is..there is no truth, we don't know what we want. We never do,and when we think we've figured it out, it changes. Again."

I spent Valentines with two other couples this year, & and if you're the type that got turned down..don't give up. You see, there's always next year. The thing about singapore is, we commercialise Valentines day so much that we have got ourselves wanting to celebrate it. Don't be dishearted my friends.

Tash: babe, lets stop smoking
Nes: are you serious? cause it's too expensive right?
Tash: no..and yes.

Lent lent lent lent..it's a difficult time of the year. Especially when you forget that it's a Friday and you're actually eating barbequed chicken. hahaha

Yes, & this is the story of my life....

My stomach feels upset. I've done it again, overeat.


ok, so! it's Sunday already! Are we all ready for the week? (no.) Are we all ready to face the challenges school brings (no.) Are we ready to learn something new? (no.) Last : WOULD WE ALL LIKE TO SLEEP IN? (YESSSSSSS.)

Valentines day is comming..and i'm going on a quaddriple date. hahaha, too much to handle you think? gifts..not really nesecarry right? I mean common, i just blew all my dough on the christmas present and now valentines? Could being in a relationship get anymore expensive? hahaha. no baby, i'm kidding. i got you a present already. lovelove
FINALLY, i heard from ruth. She says she's having a good time in Sydney. Which is fantastic..cause now we know she's having fun. :D

I'm actually feeling very selfless today..do you know how rare that is? woah, time for me to celebrate!
I'm off to do my torturous Vocab homework, and social studies..(both by the same teacher) gah
have a good week ahead


lightness. Instincts are misleading, you shouldn't think what you're feeling

miss me miss me now you've got to kiss me

Hi@ this is me, strewn all over the place..(hold me wrap me up)

today i had a good talk with Janelle. Missed her, it is true. It's the tiny things that make you remember the good things. Had a few good laughs. I'm so not attending school tomorrow. God forbids that i should be sitting in that school hall tomorrow listening to chinese orchestra music. No, no, no. God, life, have bigger plans for me..like sleep. I've been incredibly sleepy the past few days. Thanks to the Chinese, we have chinese new year! )tank you for saving me( ok, off to ring me boyfriend that happens to be patiently waiting

lovelove, love is in the air.....

It is a Sunday! It is Febuary 2nd or 3rd, i'm not too sure. I haven't really been paying attention..to anything actually, but at the same time i am..it's a great skill really.

yesterday i was at nes's place for a while and his gradma was telling us stories while we were lying on our tummies and leaning on our elbo's. Did i tell you how cute his grandma is? complaining about how it isn't fair. That when she was young and active she had to work and had no time for chill out..and now she's old, with all the time in the world to chill out, she doesnt have the energy. haha. But that didn't really stop her, she left to go out after awhile. haha. I like to hang out at his house, it's very..full with people. and sometimes they talk alot..unlike at my house. Could be ghost town..i have dinner alone most of the time. And in my room, its just me alone. Occasionally, my dog joins me. hahaha. Friday night i slept for 12 hours..yeah this is what i call a good weekend. Make full use of your sleeping time ;)

Ok you guys have a good Sunday, im off to get ready for mass. Miss meeeee

Earlier this evening, I heard this nerd telling his two friends that were fighting.. "New year, new beggining, new start." And it just kept ringging in my head. New year, new beginning, new start. New year, new beginning, new start. New year, new beginning, new start. Yeap, just like chuck palahniuk said in his book.. 'And the secret is, this will hurt less and less each time until you can't feel a thing. Trust me on this.' I love how this sinks in. I love it.

Because i feel like all about quotes today

My heart goes out to Heath Ledger. You very sexy sexy dead man.
I am feeling annoyed, with this one person. This one. ONE. How i manage to control my feelings..it is such a wonder.
Sleepy is kicking in, the Sandman has arrived! Goodnight all! think about it.. "New year, new beginning, new start."
I love Nesssssss gah i love you

Teri's party..was fun. Very fun..it was kinda like a club(though) divide the people in the club by..5 and that's what you get. But I would gladly say,that with that little people..i had fun. Didn't really feel like intoxicating myself but somehow Stefan. (you know stefan.......&and Sarah) managed to convince me that Drinking at a non-alcoholic party was alright. With that, i got myself a drink. A little tipsy..but i made it home that night. And Boy, does being an alcoholic drain you out. Physically and in $$$$ wise.
But not to worry my friends, i did not eat grass the whole day! :D

Finally my family actually lived out "family day"-on a Sunday after a long time. Like i had family members (whom i've never met before) come to my house to play Bingo. Yes..you read it right. Bingo. And it wasnt sooooooo bad, i actually made 36 dollars. But my mum and dad call it a "family success" so i divided it by 3. And i made $12. Ok, gotta run. My mum's calling in 'sick'. Gotta run..and check the matter out.

CHOW CHOW

(pictures from Teri's party will be out real soon.Just give jackie a while to upload them)

wrapping your ams around me effortlessly, your whole weight against me, your mouth waiting and your eyes like stars. We could be anybody..but we aren't

waffletown trips, mid-day sleeps, 10 months..i wanna feel like this forever

I don't know how to put it..but it is weird, different and difficult to say it in such...
but it will not make as much sense as it did the last time. But i like it because it hurts, i want it to hurt

Funny how me and jayuire read eachother..just 2 days ago it was a little like this
Jayuire: "She said there's no alcohol at her party!"
me: "No alcohol?"
Jayuire: "ya..unless we....."
Me: "yes, i know what you're thinking"

"A party without alcohol is like cheesecake without cheese..sushi without seaweed..creampuff without cream"
ok, you have to listen to this

I rolled in at 8am today (quietly) and i still credit myself for taking a bath..with how tired i was. Success! Everyone was at jackie's party, so it made it pretty enjoyable(except the journey to changi was terrible)..and after which sitting at Changi, laughing our asses off..a windy night, a good time. With mark going on about "When i was in P1. I was in class 1Silver. And my Form teacher was Misses Tan. When i was in P2. My class was 2Red. My formteacher was Mdm Tan. When i was in P3 we shifted school from frankel to OlPS there, I had a Buddy....and i was in class 3.." Ok, the buddy part and i was laughing uncontrolably. I slept right through till..now. I could sleep sommore. But we all know if i do, tonight i won't be able to sleep, and i'll be a walking zombie on Monday morning. My body is aching all over! ahahaha. I keep picturing what life will be like in 5 years time..it's like i'm too excited or something.

Ruth is going on tuesday..big Sydney life. I will definately be visiting. But i will be missing the gossips, late nights (driving around carparks), making music, making some maggee mee..sitting at mc cafe, everything this is a year(full of changes)

Only close friends(no ex boyfriends allowed)

8th January..and i'm actually holding up pretty good. Except for the fact that your school mates, or leaders could be such fucktards sometimes..i take it all in. On a lighter note, I have an interesting story today that might light up your day!

SO, lets take it back to Saturday. I bought this beautiful, if not enticing fish. A fighting fish..i thought i needed a *personal friend. So for one night i had good company. I talked to it, laughed with it..it was very enlightening let me tell you. It kept swimming to the top, so i being the very concerned pet owner, thought it was hungry threw in a little fish food. But no, it didn't budge. So i thought it needed a little 'fresh air'..but after many minutes, it still kept swimming to the top. I tried to feed it again and it did, yet again, reject the fish food. Already half panicking, I ringed up Nes "My fish doesn't want to eat! What if it dies?" and his reply was "It won't die lah. Feed it tomorrow, it's probably not hugry now." Satisfied with the advice, i left it alone..in the guess room. (Didn't wanna leave it in my room cause i was sleeping with the aircon on, thought that it might freeze to death) Next morning, i get up, anticipating to feed this fish of mine, which i named Clock. Walking towards the little fishy, i realied there was no fishy swimming..Panicking, yet again I open the lid. There i see my dear Clock floating on the surface of the water, drained of it's colour not its beautiful terqouise anymore..it's dead. D-E-A-D. I tear once or twce and i feel like Murderer! It's still a mystery..how Clock died. CANT be the water..can't be that it starved to death. I don't think she just wanted to come to my house to die you know. Oh well...such is life right?

A rush of blood up to the head..school has been fun. But how can i really tell cause it's only been the 2nd day of school, and it's weird that Nes doesnt go to school anymore..He won't call me and night to tell me what happened in his school that was BIG, and what he did after school and all so it's weird. But 2008 is a year of changes. I, as you have already known, HATE changes..for the better..or worse. Besides "changes" i'm down with the flu. My immune system is not strong. I am disappointed. How could it fail on me? It's only the 3rd day of the year! 13 days. Ruth will leave, and Jackie's birthday will come..i want time to fly, But enjoy it at the same time.

I know i'm holding on to tight..but give me some time, and i'll do it right

After last night, I AM MOTIVATED TO HAVE A BETTER YEAR THIS TIME! I had so much fun. (Except 1-2.30 am)
I have accepted that people will change, despite the things we try to do..but that's all good. Cause they will always be the same people you know, even if you haven't seen them in the longest time. So, today is the last day of my school holiday. Worryworryworry..how most of us will spend the last day of our holiday is at my house. Am i ready for school? NO. But keith was right..sec 4 will be interesting!

Plus, i am 16 already! (kinda. you know like 2008..16. geddit?)
Tune in for the next post on how school went. Really really bad..or good. I'm leaning on to the more really really bad. But we'll see. After all, life is like a box of chocolate..full of suprises.

you know they say you 'don't know what you got till it's gone'? I dont really think its true...


2007, I wouldn't say it has been terrific. Just some parts that i've wanted to pause, rewind & fast forward. resolutions..resolutions..maybe just 1: Don't be grounded as much as 2007. hahaha, good one huh?
Yesterday Nes was on the phone singing songs from people's blogs..he is so mean. But i almost teared while laughing. haha
Tonight nes's comming over for dinner with my family then after that we're off to meet everyone to usher in the new year..words cant explain how excited i am..i just hope you all have a really really good new year! with alot of love..tash

Just like Gabrielle said: I wanna end 2007 the "right" way

So when are you gonna realise those are not your wrongs to right?
Have another life. Have another drink.

moments ago, i was on the line with Nique and Jackie..
Nique: Where's jackie? She answered his call?
Tash: She did! She covered the hole!
Nique: WALAUOOOOOOOOOOOO
Tash: We are missing out on the most important part! (theothercall)

I also used the words "Off Tha Hook" while talking to nique..hahaha
Yeah and nes calls me "shorty" ironic......

Everyone's turning into MONSTERS. Thank god, me and my boyfriend are having the perfect relationship! :D

its friday! IT'S FRIDAY! (welcome to the good life)
it means my friends, in 3 days, it will be the 31st! By hook or my crook i will have a blast..
It ALSO mean that in 5 days, i will be back in school looking like ... this -_________- with my sidekicks, Lana and Jayuire.
READY TO TAKE ON ANYTHING......tash :)

"my mother told me, that you're never lonely when you're laughing all the time.."

I have to get this out of my system. But believe me, i say this with a heavy heart..how and why, was there by any chance, that Christmas was not as good as i thought it would be? Even New years eve might be as terrible..and this is why i pray for tollerance. If you had a good one, i'm happy for you. Really, i say that from the bottom of my heart..

tash

The phone lines are all jammed up... so for those of you who get this, or don't, Merry Christmas! My scab is still here and the pie wasn't So bad..admittingly, pretty good.And not letting school get to me has been very successful. Actually, i'm more excited for new years eve,2008. 2007 has been really really good for me, and everything was unexpected. Hopefully 2008 will be the same and if i hope i do well for N levels..oh please, if not well a 9 is good enough. hahaha, see im not so difficult..i don't ask for much. Thinking about it..i never do. Ok, the wine is getting to me, off i go! Happy Holidays! xxxxxxxo

hhhhhhhi, last night was so fantastically fun.. i know how to drive! :D Just around the carpark..hahaha
Then i stayed at Ruth's place, and we took forever to come up with one verse. But we did it pretty good!
Alright today i'm heading out alone. Gonna get the last minute presents..if you're like me, don't you feel that Christmas this tuesday is a little too fast? I'm starting to feel nervous..

I am now 15. Feels good, not much..just like ruth said "Join the club!"
I am no different from the other 15 year olds..we smoke we drink we club we partaaaay like there's no tmr! \m/!!!!!!!!!
FUCK YOU. I was so fucking kidding okay. I don't dance..cause God didn't really tallent me in that area of life.
But, i like to watch people dance.... i envy them. hahahaha, ok. This is getting weird.

Me and my friend were suppose to take Hip Hop classes once(which was like a really really long time ago). Oh my god, can you just imagine me? The so eager student ever waiting and anticipating to dance..No, no..i'd rather be the cool "come what may" one in life. Sit back, relax and let the good times role with some skill to dance....or none. hahaha. With this, i am ready to take on the 15 year old life..and i think "one year has fucking flown by!" so where's the bottle of Chivas? I'm so ready to shot it, and let it intoxicate me! RUN THROUGH MY VIENS! BE ALL HARDCOREEEEEE

......no not really. Just buldoze the life out of me. Please.
you will fall inlove with her, and this song

"It gains the more it gives"

Good evening! In a few moments, i will be meeting my boyfriend and we'll be heading to Tracy's birthday..and mine. We're like celebrating hers..into mine. I know my friends are gonna get me piss drunk. But, i think i can handle that. Really..i mean what's a few shots of vodka..right? Hahahaha.. I need to do something new, something without alcohol. I'll think about that on Monday.
After they intoxicate me again. But it will be fun, a whole bunch of girls laughing and drinking the whole night, How could that not be fun? I await the comming of Ruthydoots at 3am tonight! :D what could be a better present than that. No, honestly?

I'll make this fast before this laptop dies on me and the next time you'll hear from me is in like 5 years, or smth.
As i predicted, Sarah did come late..at like 3:10 thank god, i only had to wait for like..10 minutes. I WAS EARLY, and trust me.
I am never early..unless the meeting time changed, and therefore i am early. Hahaha

I need Hope, i am Hopeless..and also being freaked out of my witz that school in starting in exactly 19 days and i am not ready for 2008 although (YES I KNOW, YOU PEOPLE SAY N'LEVELS IS A BREEZE) i know i must be ready for N LEVELS. Just shoot me. Next thing i know..it'll be 12 midnight and we'll be shouting "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" then the next midnight i know it's "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" and the next 2 days following that, is the first day of school in 2008. I know, i know, i think too much but who are we kidding? This is me we're talking about! The one that always flips the fastest.. Ok. I will stick to this motto till school starts.

Never talk about it. Don't read about it. If possible, don't think about it.
See? Easy. Now i'll never have to worry about that.......for the next 19 days.
I am a real jokes time.

GOODMORNING!oijsireueiurhieurngwlkiu34hoq3iurhaiuhe

I am meeting Sarah this afternoon and i already know what we will both be up to. Hahaha
It will be fun and she says that we are meeting at 2:30, now we all know how she is ALWAYS fashionably late.......
So i will be comming at 3pm. Hopeful that she doesnt turn up at 4 or something!



wait there was a story i wanted to tell you guys, but then it got lost in my head. I will spend a few moments trying to recall what it was will picking out today's clothes...Goodbye, and let go. ;)

The rain is so heavy right now, i love it
Something about the rain that says "this is your life, so be it"

Good morning! If i don't get ready soon, Jayuire is going to rip my head apart so off i go. Need to do some christmas shopping..
but i think we already forgot the meaning of christmas. All we money minded, fun loving freaks..

YOU LOVE THIS SONG. (its only real nice when you blast it)


CHRISTMAS IS COMING! that means school's starting soon..that also means new years will be comming fast too. There will be no resolutions for me, i give up on resolutions! Okay..maybe to be a better person, but isn't everyone's "to be a better person?"
You can be a better person in many ways..Cheating..Good in bed..Good in studies, hahaha oh, you name it ;)

Alright, off i go! Have a good night,enjoy the holiday season! How many times a year do we get THIS MUCH RAIN?

"and you don't have a clue..you don't know what you do to me.."

Moments ago, me and my boyfriend were talking about potential fight topics..which is funny, cause everything we tried to argue about was pretty lame.hahaha why do i love nes so much? my supersmall-wanna put you in my pocket boyfriend
(this 4/4 beat, i'm in time with you. this 4/4 beat, i would die for you..)

.........KIDDING! :D chill babe, needa get my fighting fish btw
i love you...you are my earth my sun the air i beathe! MY MOON..MY MOUNTAIN WATER....
you are so gonna laugh when you read this babe. haha

I am turning 15 in 2 weeks. Funny how 2 years ago seems like yesterday..all the stupid and childish things we did. I am so shy to talk about any of it today. So is Ruth, Faiz, Jackie, Nique, Nell...and the list goes on and on.. haha.
One year you think pink's the best colour in the world, and the next you just hate it.
One year you think Hot Gay Guys are the shit, and the next you think "what the fuck was i thinking?" hahahaha...yep, you got it.
Meet the tash..2 years ago. It's ok, you dont have to feel bad about laughing at all..i'll probably laugh along too! haha

Apart from becomming old really fast, like i stayed over at mikey's last night. O.M.Goodness, the last time we did that was like ages ago..last night was nostalgic. Us giggling till the wee hours of the morning, then craving for good desert and after that, Squeezing on mikey's bed. hahaha. I'm glad we girls did that! & not forgetting going out with Lisa and nique today. WOW.. i'm having like girl outings all the time. This is fun..wait till my birthday. It will be an all girls affair. yea you read it right. ALL GIRLS.

It's okay my friends, i'll give you time to take it all in. :)

Shalom Faiz! He'll be back in a few days..he is the best laughing stock. We didn't go to the pondok. :( where's the clan you know..the good old days of walking to the god damn pondok, sweating like a dog rolling down the little hills and laughing our asses off cause we're too high to know what the fuck we're doing then realising that we've all got a fucking curfew then rushing back in a cab..or something a train. High in the train, laughing and accidentally knocking everyone, annoying humans and almost getting bashed up cause of that. Ahhhhh, those were the days you know..life's like that. All good things come to an end, you know...and the saying goes.

This song will comfort me..

Today was weird, after listening to stories about other people..i feel normal. I mean, i know my life style isn't and all but at least i act normal you know. How insensitive can one get...is the real question. How can friends do this to each other? I know there's much i have to learn about life..but really, insensitivity is not the way to go. But who am i right? Just your average nobody...

TOMORROW, we are going to the pondok. Or, planning too..even if it just turns out to be me, Nes and Faiz. Or me, Faiz and Jackie, it's ok. Bcuz, what we've learnt is three's a crowd! RIGHT GUYZ?!?!?............

Before i sleep, i will declare that..i will not intoxicate myself next week. This week, too much. It's an OVERLOAD.

This is a crazy crazzy week, im catching up with so many people..it's good. I'm happy i'm doing this. This is one good week..

I've got Alcohol, Friends, Fun all in one week.

enjoy this.Everything you hear about me, is everything i am not.

I realised that i kinda put christmas songs up a little too early.....save it for a week or two more. I shall do, a proper and decent post. One of a recent update about my life. My holiday life.

What seemed like such a boring one,.....hold on. A bug just fell in my drink hahahahaha ew.

Okay, back to where i was before i was inturrupted. What seemed like such a boring one, turned out not to be. It is in fact, quite exciting, though not as crazy as the last. It is fun in it's own little way. My boyfriend's 17th birthday was good. So good that i rolled in almost close to 3 and flopped onto my bed remembering that i left my oh-so-cheap camera at Nes's place. Other then that, the rain has brought many good things. ONE OF WHICH IS THE WEATHER, that i absolutely thank god for because Singapore is a living hell. NO, Literally.

I can't wait for my best friend to get her ass down here to celebrate the holidays with me. I love her, and i miss her. I mention too much about how excited i am to see her that even my boyfriend's excited too. We shall relive Jayuire's birthday.........or not. hahahaha. I look forward to tomorrow the day day day day day after that too. My life could only go down hill from here.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TATUM. YOU BITCH for telling me about your little 'get together' late. see you soon folks! happy holz

Next year, i will be back. BIGGER, BETTER, & THRICE THRICE THRICE THE SIZE. ;)

Wanna get yourself like so ready for christmas? My favourite's Coldplay's version of "have yourself a merry little christmas"



Sorry for not posting much, i've been pretty busy here and there, all over the place.. Just enjoy the holiday! read a book or two, and enjoy the rain. Goodnight everyone!

I could be, may be, might be, most probably be, the worst girlfriend. ever..

Is there a manual or something out there?

Happy birthday baby, i love love love you :)

I'm in the new house and it smells new, and i'm ready to live here(i think)! I checked the main door, easy and ready to sneak out..hahaha IM KIDDING IM KIDDING..jeez

This morning, at about 5.30 in the morning i was leaving nes's place, and waiting for a cab..the rain was so heavy. Despite the heavy rain, and no cabs available, my boyfriend still kept his humour laughing and joking about everything to do with the rain. Gfkingaeirugakegnawiuhgilrgne, this is why i love him! It's like almost 12 in the morning, and i've only had and hour and forty five minutes of sleep..waiting for the boxes to arrive is taking forever..and sitting in this room filled with furniture but none of my personal belongings...the more i think about it, the more i feel that this doesn't feel like home..


"You feel the sweet breath of time.."

Good afternoon! You know what i realised, i always misplace my phone in my room. I just like totally forget where i put it.. And i also realised that i always glue things together. (thank god for UHU glue..) haha

What i've also realised is how people are so selfish, immature, insensitive..stony, and rude. What the hell is wrong with you guys?

and sarah..don't let them get in your damn way. Just keep smiling! Make them wonder why you're still smiling... because you. don't. care.

Now that i'm done with that, and glueing my ring back together(all nic's fault..) i will leave and meet Nes, Nique and Leon. Off i go........

So, i thought i was the only one that felt well...broken up. Turn's out not.

Matt: Is it me..or are these holidays kind of dull..

Tash: yes..it is. do. not. remind. me.

Matt: Last year was damn shiok right? even june was better..

Tash: i used to walk out of the house with an aim, with something to do, a goal to achieve. now i get out of my house like an idiot, nothing to do, no one to meet

Matt: like last year we go out nothing to do also still fun because we enjoy each other's company

Tash: i'm like "call me ok?" and they're like "ok!" but they never do

Matt: at least we still cool..even if we laze about at home..

Tash: yeah..like a melting ice cube.(what?!?!)

hahahahahaha my feelings.

Then, we came up with something else.


Tash: maybe, it's just us! maybe they are ditching us..maybe they dont want our company..
Matt: yea, maybe now they're all secretly out and going like "haha silly matthew and tash,let them rot at home"
Tash: oh no..its really starting to get to me. Matt, i think they dislike us.
Matt: everything is a conspiracy against us
Tash: but i respect them..i can mingle with my own crowd..
Matt: lets make our own group of friends, only cool people

i really dont like the holidays now.

I've been packing! Leaving this house forever and ever and ever..There's something about packing that means final. Can't wait to move into the new place, bigger, better and well..it's very..brown. NOT TO MENTION MY ROOM. I hate it. IT IS A DISASTER. IT IS A MESS. However, we also know that i work well in messes..i'm just going to learn to live with it. It's just a stupid room. MY STUPID ROOM. It's starting to annoy me. It's like when you're talking, and someone won't stop inturrupting you. Yes, that kindf annoying. Makes me wanna burn the house down..maybe i should get some tips from Anthony..haha shuppad i'm starting to sound like a lunatic..

My holidays..my holidays..my holidays. It's weird, sometimes i have a good time sometimes i don't. WHYYYYYYYYYYY? I wait so long for it to arrive..then it finally does. And i don't have anything to do..Maybe i have too little friends. Maybe i should start drinking coffee at a cafe more. Wasting my time like that makes more sense don't you think..instead of straying around town like a lost dog..I hate town.


i'm just so..speachless seeing that all of Britney's music in a new cd is on sex
meow. but anyway, here's one for all you britney fans ;)

Don't worry, me and faiz secretly like this one too ;)


I’m Mrs. "Lifestyles Of The Rich & Famous"
(You want a piece of me?)
I’m Mrs. "Oh My God, That Britney’s Shameless!"
(You want a piece of me?)
I’m Mrs. "Extra! Extra! This Just In!"
(You want a piece of me?)
I’m Mrs. "she’s too big, now she’s too thin"
(You want a piece of me?)

Holiday's by the way have been picking up the pace, lovely and i love that the o's are ending soon. FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not for me......for all the candidates. Anyway, enjoy the song. I think it's got funky lyrics it's like "YOU GO BRITNEY". Yes..if you're wondering..i'm still her fan.

I met the past yester...last night leaving Bosco's awsome party. So he was..uh, gross infact. Don't get his style. So it went for Ah Beng to wanna be Goth, Ah Beng again then Working-clothes-dress-up dude.

What happened to Goth, not his forte? hahahaha. Okay, i'm feeling meanish but yeah, you knowwwwwwwww when you don't like someone.....lol

So the main part zabout this post was that Bosco had a pretty good party on Halloween.

One word: TEQUILA.

most beautiful melancholic music i've heard in some time



breathe songs in my head, slow arrow flies & burning..and the trouble we possess.
wants to feel you shake and shooting..he will be our leader

Holiday's in, and school's out...yeah..like the pass few days it's been real good. Meeting the rest, drinking i'm so getting in the mood ok! like fo' serial yo

"I haven't panicked this much since my last exam.."
Today we had a test during cathecism (I know..i know.. like a test right!?). So this test was going to actually determine if we are going to get confirmed or not. It was an open book/BIBLE test and they asked such like "what's a parable?" LIKE WHAT'S A F'KIN PARABLE?! So, moving on....the class was a wreck. And did i mention we need to get a 75% pass? Yeah...neat. It's alright, i put all my trust in the bible and just let it do the thinking for me. I wrote what i FELT was right and reasonble. Such "A parable is made of a meaningful paragraph of a certian object or person" Okay, so sue me. I didn't know what the hell i was scribbling..we had a time limit. I however, finished the second-last in class (thank god for Bob who was last..) So yeah..that's how my Sunday morning went down..in flames i might add.

And the strokes and the kooks should come down to singapore. daaaaaaaaaaamn chigga/nigga! (spent too much time with sarah, jackie and dav) lol

Disco Friends


Well, just finding out that I had A1 for english, and not retaining, I am going to play god in Sims. Have a good evening all! Soon you will see me and my cigerattes, having a ball of a time. hahaha tata

i am inlove with-


and you give yourself away. and you give and give and give...

What a shame we all became..such fragile broken things.

I'm sick. (How many times have i said that this year?) So i've got the flu...but on a lighter note, my holiday starts in a few days! Though mine kinda pretty much started cause since the exams ended i've only been to school like what...2 hours? And that also means that I will be moving into the new house in about 25 days. I resent that house too much...it's alright. Pain comes with time and i hate time.

This holiday..i'm gonna make it different. It's going to be way better than last year. I DONT CARE HOW but it's going to happen. Hell no, am i going to sit at home and rot. No, that is not me. I am...whatever you want me to be. Just not a boring stay at home kinda person. It's going to be my alcohol and me. My friends and me. My boyfriend and me. My food and me. (if i have the cash) lol..

ok so, forget me. i am just a tiny voice in your head. (jump, jump! no one loves you...they dont even know you exsist. just end your life) hahaha maybe i should stop reading sad sadistic books. Wait. Don't second that.......

Good evening! Okay, so everything isn't so bad after all. I'm going out regularly..
my mum said twice a week..but i hope by mid november things'll change i mean things always change, you know.

You know, i have a guilty confession. I secretly like Britney Spears. I mean yeah, so she screwed up her life big time..but she's still the same old music maker. Just like 10 kg heavier. hahaha
Still, i am a faithful fan of hers. I will get her CD when it is released in Singapore. You must be like "give me your 20bucks! i'd do better things with it.." yeah well, i don't know...I still like britney. It's more of pity actually. hahahaha

whatever, this is pretty stupid. it's not like i know her anyway. hahaha
chaoZZZXXZZZ

my life is a big black box + nes (that makes life a whole lot easier)!

hey, do you know that halloween is in 3 weeks time?
i hope you all have some sort of party to go for! and with every shot you take, say "To Tasssh!!!!!"

ps, i love youuuuuuuuu

THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMMING IN 2 WEEKS TIMEyesyesyesyesyes! I feel the rush to study hard.. i feel it.We're in the middle of the exam period and Accounts is in 2 days..and that's just paper 1. Am i ready for it? ...........................No, not even close. It is all in the hands of luck..which i seem to lack alot. hahaha, so instead i blame it on the people! Why do they do this to us? I have come to the conclusion that they enjoy seeing us suffer.

And..because i need some serious entertainment in my life. I have decided to take fencing up with my cousin. hahaha my mum was like "isnt that for boys?!" but against all odds, it's my fencing and me. Alright off i go into the real world of books and brains.

goodbyeeeeeeee

From where I come from, you don't exist alex

"sometimes i wonder why im so full of this endless rythms"

The week is flying by, days are passing so fast. I, on the other hand have not really been studying..
This is disspointing, i promised myself i'd study hard and well for the end of years
There's just this one thing running around at the back of my head.. It won't stop running..& i can't stop it

I've decided to see fortune tellers, I need to find out what'll happen in the future
Sitting back and waiting is making me so impatient

sencondhand sex


Hello! I'm back and taking calls again. You know, my gorgeous long dry locks? I bravely chopped it off on Sunday. While everyone was aiming for the long, flowy and uh.. beautiful hair, i decided to get rid of mine. No..i'm not bald.

I am so unlucky..and always get ALL the bad things happening to be at once. I just gotta learn how to deal with it..and take it like a ma..woman. I crave for indian food now, and i successfully managed to convince my mum to drive there and get some. So off i go, have a good week ahead. I'll just try to study..haha

"I won't regret saying this.."


I can't think of anything to blog about. But I love Tegan & Sara...
I need to study. I need inspiration. I need imagination. I need luck.
But no use whining about somethingSSS i won't and can't have.
So here, now i'll go back to my lying-on-bed-listening-to-music-life.
this is waaaaaaay too pa-the-tic

as we see through life,
you will see that there is so much more that we don't understand
and the only thing we really know
is things dont always go the way we planned

listen to it's a hit by we are the scientists, it's a good song!

can't put into words
but beautiful, and explosions

Everything is automatic..

So today, we celebrated Ben's belated birthday.
We forgot the most important thing, THE CAKE.
It's alright, we all sat around in a circle, drank our beers and smoked.
It was pretty fun Cause we played games "I have never ever......." haha fun.

Tomorrow, i will attend a kids party. Don't worry Nes, Jackie, Leon & Nique. We are all in this together. Good old games and food and a party only for 3 hours. I'm hoping it'll be fun. My eye lids are heavy and i shall go to bed now, a long tiring day awaits me. Goodnight world

It feels much better to know that you won't feel a thing
It feels much better to know that you won't feel a thing
It feels much better to know that you won't feel a thing

I've been looking for Chuch Palahniuk's book since i got back from Aussie
So today i was at the busstop waiting for the bus to come (which took ages by the way)
Then i see this boy, he's holding a book and it says "Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk"
I, by the way, have been looking for that since......... ages ago
And so i get ready to walk up to the boy to ask him where he got it from
Just then, his bus comes as i'm walking to him half way, he boards the bus,
the bus door closes and it leaves. So i'm standing there, and everyone saw that.
Why am i so unlucky! maybe i need lucky charms. Like a Lohan fish or something.
Hokey, i'm going to take a nap now. Goodbye! and don't worry guys, the holidays are comming...

Nique: Oh, I wanna watch Evan Almighty!
Tash: I caught that already..it's pretty boring.

Really, not long later....(after the trailer for Evan Almighty ended)

Tash: Oh, i watched it. It's not bad.
Nique: But i thought you said it was boring?
Tash: Oh yeah, it was boring!

Yeah so, sometimes conversing with her is pretty hard cause of my really short term memory. It's alright, i've accepted this gift from god.
Later on everyone's coming to my house and it's time to play pictionary and cluedo,
But first, i'm gonna alter afew of my clothes, and then get my camera some batteries.
See yaaaaaaa

Today when i got back, i had a little suprise for my dog
I got her wet doggie food. She loved it, and i loved seeing her happy.
I love to fatten her up once in a while you know. For a dog, she's waaaaaaay too skinny.

Now i'm listening to Gary Jules, Mad World.
Look it up, it's a great song to chill out too. Makes you think...
And soon, i'm going to get dressed and leave for a movie with nique.
I've no idea how i managed to talk my mum into it, but i'm glad she let me go with this whole grounding thing.
I felt a sense of achievement today, i made my dog happy.
It's time to make me happy now, as i go on with that i should get my hair washed cause the rain got it today
Off i will go, enjoy your windy friday night!

"i cling to this..."

People say: seek it in time
I've been thinking about time lately,& i hate it

I've also been thinking about the end of the year, and how much fun i'll have
I've also been thinking about the new years eve
Lately, i've been doing alot of thinking because of my free time

I want to do something about time
Stop feeling lazy, and be whisked away
hahaha, too much.

ROUND TWO

Yeah! this is the second weekend of my grounding. It's starting to get to me like the last time. I'm becomming mad. Today i was not allowed out, and tomorrow i asked everyone to come over to my place to hang out.
I begged and begged, and said "don't busted me laaaa plz" Hopefully they give me some pity and spend at least 2 hours at my place playing Pictionary or Cluedo. Sad life? yes, i agree too.

Who do you love, me or the thought of me?

"..All The Go Inbetweens"

I am becomming irritated with the camera that's passed down to me.
It's about 3 times or 4, or could possibly be 5 times my age.
So where you think i might get the batteries from?! I mean, don't mind the film.
Other than the great annoyance from this old camera, i've not been in school for 2 days.
Simply because i have "sore eyes". First it was suppose to be a big joke in school for me to leave early. But than the doctor told me i really had sore eyes. Ha ha ha. I really laughed there and then in the clinic. So i walked out and i told my mum that i actually didn't have sore eyes.
But she didn't believe me, and insisted i was sick.. So here i am now at home, searching for something to do. I got up early and even volunteered to do the dishes. but cleeeearly it's 11.24 in the morning, and the only person that would be eating is.... me.

Should i be a couch potato, flipping through the channels
or a complete pig, sleeping the whole day
or also a pig..but eating instead. i need motivation...
Please god, answer my cry.

Good evening! it's such a rainy night
and there's no doubt im going to crash after this
Ok, so here's what happened during the week.
Singfest was so gooood. Bands like the academy is,
the noisettes and cyndi lauper and gym class heros..
ok, i might as well just put all the bands that played.
They were good, and Singfest will be back next year!
I'll definately be there of course.

But Since my mum left during the weekend, i thought i could...
have a little fun. so i left in the middle of the night and she
came back and i wasnt there at 530 in the morning. haha
so you guessed right, i am now grounded!
it's ok, i'll live. i'll live.
ok, so you all have a good week ahead, i'll just be spending
my time bumming around and listening to sad songs
goodbyezzzzz. don't miss me

Dad, me and nique

i had terribly good weekend
i am ready to go through monday and tuesday, & i think (bring it on!)
i'm having nostalgic feelings
it doesn't hurt. it doesn't hurt

can't wait for wednesday till i can see sugar ray, nes and every single body
now i will drown myself in The Fire Fight. have a goodnight.

out of me

Good evening again! I am ready to share with you guys a story. You're definately gonna laugh, so hang in there. you need a great imagination to get this one.really

It was yesterday in school and it was raining heavily, like the best weather to sleep in. & uh..play in the rain. So me and alexdsondra decided to run in the rain and jump about here and there. When i came back in, i failed to realise that there was a BIG puddle infront of me, and with my already wet shoes, i stepped onto the puddle. Oh yes. It happened. That's when it happened. I slipped, in the most unglam way you could ever imagine and there was some whole matrix thing again on for about.. 1.2 seconds. And BANG i fell. I fell on my bum. I didn't care if it hurt i wanted to run for cover cause thats when i realised the whole bloody canteen saw my circus act. My friends from the other side of the canteen were laughing so hard and screaming "I SAW THAT! HAHAHAHAHA" i could swear i heard them! so i went down a legend that day. the girl that fell in the rain, or after being in the rain onto the slippery wet canteen floor. ha ha very funny
but i wanted to dissapear.

i hope i made your day
one more time! :)

the best song to listen to on a rainy day i swear


good evening. i just hate how time is passing by so slowly
i'm waiting for the weekend, next weekend..
and 13 weekends more to pass

everyday just makes me think about the next day
and the next day and the next
i hate this cycle
plus, adding on to my much stressed mind, i find out i have a corn on my foot!
i just want to amputate my foot. really

i m numb (for now,)